I haven't purchased a pair of you in quite a while, so I was so excited this afternoon when my mom was able to watch the kids so I could go out and find the perfect pair of you. I searched through the store and found the cutest pair of you I could imagine. I couldn't wait to try you on in the fitting room. I thought I was was doing so good and that you and I would be best friends....but I could not have been more wrong. I was able to get you over my hips and thighs...but after I buttoned the top button, you gave me the WORST gift ever....the MUFFIN TOP!!!! I think I stood there staring at myself in the mirror for what seemed like forever. How could you be so unforgiving!!!! How can you be so cold!! I thought we have always had such a good relationship!!! I'll show you!!! Gone will be the holiday treats I have been snacking on since I got to my mom's house and gone will be all the second helpings of my mom's fabulous cooking ( God, please help me show some restraint!!). I am going to come back and find another pair...a more forgiving pair that will make me love jeans once again!!! The worst part of the whole thing is that at the same time I was standing in the fitting room hating you.....there was a 4.1 earthquake right here near my parents' home that I missed because I was too distracted by the bakery item appearing across my middle!!! We will meet again ....and next time I will win!!!!
very insincerely yours,
p.s Don't go on going on sale when I come back to find you...I'll be looking for another pair!