"Normal"

exhaustion!!!!

These past two and half weeks have been filled with happiness at seeing old friends again, nervousness about finding a house, anxiousness about putting an offer on just the right house, elation when that offer was accepted, happiness at Guy being able to join us for almost two weeks, sadness that he had to leave and go back to Nigeria to finish up his job there, worry about safety over there, and exhaustion from everything in between.

We've survived 2 trips to Chuck E.Cheese, at least 5 trips to Sonic, 7 trips to Chick-Fil-A, and umpteen trips to Mickey D's and somewhere in there the kids have even managed to eat some fruit and veggies.:)  They have been troopers through their fourth straight summer of living out of a suitcase.  I don't know how we'll feel next summer when we will actually have a house.  I was starting to feel like I was at home in Lagos, but I never really felt like the flat was "mine".  It was assigned to us, and I always felt like I was living in someone else's house using someone else's furniture.  I am looking forward to living in a home we chose with things that belong to us.:)  Although that home won't be ready for us until August...

This next year will be a struggle for me to find my "new normal" whatever that may be.  But, for right now, my" normal" is packing up our bags for yet another plane ride....this time to see some family in Michigan.  And for the time being, our "home" is wherever our suitcases are.:)

He's Back...

On Friday, Guy landed back in the good 'ole USA.:)  The kids were so happy to see him and so was I.  It had been a long week of jet lag, househunting and not sleeping. I needed serious reinforcements and I did miss him...just a little bit.:) We were so happy to have Guy with us for Father's Day. For the last three years, the kids and I have traveled out of Nigeria the beginning of June and not returned until the beginning of August.  Guy has always joined us in the U.S. the beginning of July so we haven't been with him on his special day for a while.  It was a great day of eating good barb-e-que and being together with the best dad my children could ever ask for.  And it was topped off by some pictures of our trip to South Africa with some frames from the real Lekki Market in Lagos, Nigeria...not Houston, Texas (Poor elizabeth....she is so confused.:)

Happy Father's day to my dad, Father-in -Law, Grandpa and all the great dads today!:)

Pieces

I'm awake right now when I should be sleeping, but I was reading a blog post earlier about having domestic help in your home and feelings about that, and I couldn't help but think of Happiness.  When I moved to Nigeria, I never in a million years would have thought I would have made such a wonderful friend.  I never would have thought that I could make such a wonderful friend and when I had to leave one day, I would probably never get to see her again.  I couldn't help the tears from falling down my face as I read that post and then thought about it tonight.  I am happy to be back in the U.S. and to see all of my friends here. It's just that I feel like a left a piece of myself in Lagos with a dear friend.  I've taken the kids to a few places here and seen them laugh, and I know she would love to see it, too.  Part of why my kids have done as well as they have on our move to Nigeria is because of her...  ( and of course because of my hubby's meticulous planning!)

  

all smiles at Chuck E. Cheese

• brain freeze at Chick-Fil-A

 Moving is hard, and I know I will get through this change.  People have told me that moving back home after having an assignment as an expat is hard.  It's funny because I would look so forward to "civilization" when I would come back to the States on holidays.  But, now, I realize that I was just starting to really think of Lagos as home, and it was time to leave.  I kind of feel like the mancala (ayo)  game that Jeremy loves so much.  You take some pieces and you leave some pieces.  I guess that is kind of how life is, too.  You leave some pieces of yourself with dear people you have met, and you take some pieces of them with you, too.  And, I have to say, leaving a piece of myself in Lagos does hurt a bit, but I would do it all again because it brought a very special person into my life.:)

Tidal Wave

The kids and I made it to Houston at 5 a.m. local time yesterday morning.  It was nice to sleep on a fully flat seat in business class, but we still didn't sleep all that great.  There is just something about sleeping on an airplane that doesn't let me ( or the kids) get a really good sleep.  I was able to get all 9 bags and four carry ons to the car rental place with the help of another sweet family who was repatriating to the States along with me.  Thank you so much!!!:)  Thank goodness Guy rented us an Expedition or I wouldn't have been able to fit all the bags!!:)
We made it to the hotel only after stopping at McDonald's for our U.S. fix!!:)  Then, the kids and I took a marathon nap from noon to 5 p.m.  I usually never let them sleep that long after traveling from Nigeria, but I don't know if it was the physical exhaustion combined with the emotional exhaustion of the last few weeks and the roller coaster of emotions I have had but I could not move from the bed until 5 p.m.  I made the kids wake up or else we might as well grow hair on our ears and hang upside down because letting them sleep any  longer was surely a recipe for nocturnal disaster!:)   We went to good 'ole Wal Mart and got some snacks for the room and went to another favorite of Jeremy's...Taco Bell!!! I know, I should win" Mother of the Year" award for the nutritional food I'm feeding the kids!!!! :)  But, I'll blame it on exhaustion and whatever makes 'em happy at this point!:)  They keep asking me if this hotel is our new home, and I keep telling that that we need to find a home.  They both look at me like it's crazy that we don't have a "home" right now.  I guess it is...

We're doing okay, but every now and then, a tidal wave of emotions sweep over me.  I think of my final hug to Happiness before we boarded the bus knowing I most likely will never physically see her again.  The look in her eyes and the tears running down her face as the kids and I waved good bye to her and as I blew her a kiss through the window she grabbed it in mid air and placed her hand on her heart. It was so hard to leave.  I didn't ever think it would have been three years ago. 

When the kids and I were in the Wal-Mart (Elizabeth keeps calling it Lekki Market..I'm not kidding) yesterday, I noticed a woman in traditional Nigerian dress.  At first I didn't think anything of it, and then I realized I was in Houston...in a Wal- Mart!!  I heard her talking to her daughter in the familiar Nigerian accent, and I almost went up to her.  But, I couldn't because I realized I had tears in my eyes and no matter what I would say to her ( I had no idea what that may be) I wouldn't be able to say anything because all that would come was tears.

I feel a little lost and confused right now. Sometimes I think I am just on summer holiday visiting the U.S. and then, I realize that I'm not going back to Nigeria in August.   This transition will be a process, but I know one thing for sure.  Our family found" happiness" in Nigeria and I know we'll find it here, too.:)

500

This is my 500th post on this blog...I never thought I would stay with it so long...who knew I would love it so much!!! I thought we could look at a few pictures from when we first arrived....

Arriving in Lagos July 2009

Meeting Happiness for the first time!! July 2009

first beach trip August 2009

first day of school August 2009

And, now a few from just a few weeks ago......they have changed so much since we moved to Lagos...

Jeremy and his Teacher

It's funny, I heard once that people cry when you move here and they cry when it's time to go.  I didn't really understand that when I first came here. I didn't think I would ever get used to living here.  It took a few years, but I have felt so much more comfortable here this last year.  And, now as I type this with tears in my eyes, it is time to leave and I don't feel like it's time to go yet.   I feel like there is an aching pit in my stomach which I haven't been able to make go away for the last few weeks.  I am having the same feelings I had when I moved here, but in reverse.  I never expected to ever be happy here.  I never thought I would meet people I would truly care about.  I am mostly an all or nothing person.  I won't do things half way...if I'm in it...I'm in it.  I threw myself into the Beach Foundation and the kids schools, and I loved every minute of it.  I made new friends and I knew I would have to leave one day, but I didn't realize how much I would hurt inside.  I am happy that I'm going back "home", but somehow, I feel different now.  I know I am not exactly the same person I was when I left to move here three years ago.  I hope I don't forget what I have done and what I have seen while living here. I hope I was able to make some small difference here.  These past few weeks, I've been busy packing up bags and saying farewells...

Good bye to the Beach School Foundation...

The kids have had farewells....

 And so have we....

 I've met so many great people here who are hard working and they will always have a piece of my heart...

Daniel, me, Happiness and Josephine

I don't even know how I will say good bye to Happiness. (Please pray for me...I mean it...I really don't know how I will do that.)  We can't even look at each other these past two weeks and not cry.  How do you even begin to tell someone she saved you from the fear you had about coming here????  She is truly a special person with a beautiful spirit, and because of her, I will always be forever connected to Nigeria.  I will miss so many people I have met here dearly, but I will have them in my heart forever.  If you know me, I don't like change much.  I never have, but once I accept it, things usually are okay.  The only thing I know which is constant is change....nothing stays the same forever. The kids and I leave tomorrow, June 8 and Guy will follow later this summer. I have heard that with every ending comes a new beginning, and I hope you will join me as I adjust to my life back in the states right here on this blog.  Thank you so much for joining me on this amazing journey!!!!:) And to my friends on the other side of the ocean...I am coming home!!!!!!!

In an Instant

Yesterday morning 15 people woke up and got dressed and went to church in Bauchi State, Nigeria.  It was something they probably did every Sunday.  And, while they were walking out of church talking with friends and visiting with loved ones, a car bomb exploded right outside the church and those 15 people lost their lives in that instant...

Yesterday afternoon while the kids and I were enjoying a great afternoon of fun with some friends from our compound, a Dana Air flight took off from Abuja headed to Lagos.  While my kids were laughing and having fun with their friends, over 150 people lost their lives in a plane crash right near the Lagos International Airport (which is on the mainland.  We live on Victoria Island a good distance away.).  Guy is in Port Harcourt and was watching CNN, and immediately tried to call me.  All the CNN report said was that the plane crashed into a building in a heavily populated area in Lagos.  Guy had no way of knowing what building it could be.  I never even heard the phone ring with his frantic phone calls while I was was laughing and having a good time with my friends.  Poor Guy, when I finally checked my phone I saw that I had missed three calls from him.  Needless to say, he was relieved to know we were safe.

The only thing which could make that crash even worse is that the plane crashed into a heavily populated residential area of Lagos where houses/shanties are built so close together it resembles a can of sardines.  There is no way to know how many people on the ground lost their lives or are injured.  What is known is that all people on the plane lost their lives, but it will probably be a while before there is any report of how many people lost their lives in their homes...

In a country where there is poverty and sadness all around most days, Nigeria did not deserve these acts.  But, things like these could happen anywhere at anytime.  We all need to remember that each day is a gift and there is never a guarantee of tomorrow for any of us.  The one thing we can do is love our loved ones right now at this moment.  All of our lives could change in an instant...

Fierce

Yesterday morning, I woke up to some thunder outside.  The thunder and rain quickly subsided and the sun was shining bright through the clouds.  After about forty five minutes, the sky turned dark again and the kids were a bit confused if it was night time again since they had woken up a little bit before.  Then, the rain and the wind started in, and the rain was blowing sideways.  I tried to capture it in the video to show you how quickly these storms can blow in from the ocean.  The ocean off the coast of Nigeria is such a beautiful thing, but it has a fierceness that nothing on this earth can rival....

The Beauty of Batik

Batik fabrics are nothing new. In fact, the art of batik has been around for thousands of years.There is actually evidence of it being done in the Far East, Middle East, Central China and India.  Some historians think this art traveled along the caravan trading routes routes.  Since coming to Lagos, I have seen some very beautiful fabrics.  The beautiful bright colors found here in Nigeria are nothing short of breath taking and I am afraid in my three years here, I haven't really done the whole realm of fabric here much justice.  But, today, I got to watch a local batik artist named Johnson share his craft and let the children at Elizabeth's school watch and learn a little bit of how batik fabric is made.:)

  We started with some aprons which were provided by the school. Johnson said they would work, but thinner fabric is better and organic fabric is best such as cotton. He started off by using a small tool which looked like a pen filled with extremely hot wax and wrote all the children's names on the aprons.

 Then, he drew designs on the aprons using the hot wax.

 The hot wax is what helps to make the design on the fabric.  The next step is to actually dye the fabric.  He said he bought his dye at the local market and he added something which looked like Baking soda to the hot water and the dye.  He said it will help the color from fading when it is washed.

 Large thick gloves need to worn during the dying process because the dye can irritate the skin badly and also dye the skin. I don't know how Johnson can do this all the time.  The fumes from the dye are extremely strong.

 The kids loved watching how he dipped the aprons into the various colors of dye he had prepared.  The next step will be for him to take the aprons home with him and boil them in extremely hot water which will cause the wax to melt right off the apron.  He explained to me that he then makes sure all the wax is off the fabric by scraping it with a stick.  Then, the beautiful designs are left behind.  I'll post some pictures of the finished products after he comes back next Tuesday to drop off the finished products.  I have to say that this whole process takes a lot of time and there is an infinite number of patterns which can be designed on batik fabric. The men and women who design these fabrics are nothing short of artists.  I have really come to appreciate these fabrics since living here, and I am so happy that my little girl can start to learn an appreciation for every one's talents and crafts.:)

Sunday Street Scenes

I wanted to share a few pictures of some of the things we see along the street on Sundays when we go to church.  The kids are always excited to see the goats wandering around looking for food along the street...

 Do you see the tent in the distance off to the right?  That is where a small catholic congregation meets on Sundays...

 Two Sundays ago, we saw a group of boys flaying football in the rain...and barefoot...in the street!!

 That takes ALOT of talent!!!

This is just another quick glimpse into what we see around Victoria Island and Ikoyi.  I hope you enjoy the Sunday Street Scenes.:)

What do the African Rains Bring?

What do the rains in Africa bring with them???? Apparently one little cutie who couldn't wait to wear her rain boots!:)

 And some really cool looking clouds which kind of look like it may rain ...or maybe not....but usually it does.:)

 One thing I never expected the rains to bring is higher prices on produce Under the Bridge. Happiness went to get the veggies yesterday and the vendors under the bridge told her the heavy rains which fell last week actually killed many of the plants where they bring in their produce so the prices went up....

 one kilo of tomatoes went from 500 naira up to 1000 naira!!!!

 bananas went from 250-300 naira up to 500 naira!!

And the watermelon went from 600 naira up to 800 naira.  And that was with Happiness buying the produce for me...I don't know what the oyibo price would be.:)  I just never thought the rains would bring higher prices for the produce...living in Lagos is always full of surprises!!!

You Never Really Know

 This weekend was full of getting together with friends we met from different continents but somehow all of our paths crossed in Lagos!!! 

The rainy season took a short break on Sunday so we could have a cook out with some friends at another compound.:)

 The kids had a great time splashing around with their friends...

 and the adults got to have a little relaxing time together and look at the blue water of the Atlantic Ocean...

Shanties along the beach front

shanty town

 It was a great weekend with laughter and friends....we almost forgot where we were for a few minutes until Jeremy came up to us at the other compound and said, "Mommy, look what I found!  What is this??"

I have to admit, I have never seen one of these up close, but I was pretty sure I knew what it was and upon conformation from Guy and a few of our other friends....it was concluded that yes, indeed, my six year old son found a bullet on the ground on a compound where we were having a beautiful afternoon.  Looking at this takes me back to 2:45 a.m.  You just never really know what you'll get to experience when you come to Lagos!:)

I Do NOT Recommend This

I knew I should have listened to that little voice in the back of my head telling me "NO way!!" "Are you nuts!???"  " What the h#@% are you thinking?"  but like I usually do when those voices seem to creep into the back of my head I ignore them.  It's a quirk of mine to try to look into the face of insanity and just try to go with it.  I think that may be one of the things Guy loves most about me....NOT!!!!
Two very nice friends were having birthday parties for their children on Ikoyi....on a Friday...the same Friday .. and both parties were from 3p.m. to 6 p.m. at different places.  It was an insane thought but I had to let it pass through my brain, " What if you go to one party from 3 -4:30 and the other from 4:30 -6:00?"  Could it be done??? Had it ever been done???? Could I do it?"   Ha!!! I can laugh insanity in the face......does that make me more insane????

The plan was to leave my compound at 2:30 right when Jeremy got off the bus....2:30 turned into 2:45 after he played around and had an extended bathroom visit!:)   And then 2:45 turned into 2:50 because I couldn't locate my keys (yes, Guy , I can hear you telling me to have a "special place" to leave my key!!)  Anyway, the traffic wouldn't be that bad...I had a meeting on Thursday on Ikoyi and left at 5 p.m. and got there at 5:10 .....maybe the traffic was actually getting better??!!   We went about 200 feet and were stuck in gridlock traffic for 45 minutes.  Let me just tell you ....you haven't lived until you have two kids in the car ready for a birthday party and you are not moving anywhere....

We finally got to Ikoyi an hour after leaving and Fatai was lost...he couldn't remember where we were going (even though we had been there twice before!).  He started to ask me about the names of the streets...I can't even pronounce them correctly let alone know where they are and don't even get me started on communication between Fatai and me!  So, we arrived at birthday party number one at approximately 3: 57 p.m.  I told the kids to go and play because we needed to leave in 33 minutes. I scanned the food  and beverage table.....not one drop of wine anywhere to be seen to calm my nerves...so packing away of the plantain chips ensued in a wood chipper like fashion...it was full on stress eating, baby!!! I am sure there were crumbs flying out all over the place, but I needed to take my frustration out on something and the plantain chips seemed like a likely candidate.  (And they did taste pretty good,too when I took a moment to reload my mouth!)

4:30 on the dot I corralled the kids into the car with Elizabeth crying because she didn't get to eat cake yet ( because it was too early) and Jeremy upset because he didn't get a goody bag from that party.  I explained to Elizabeth she would get cake at the next party and Jeremy would get a goody bag from the next party because it was for his friend.

As we drove away from that party and I was wiping the crumbs from the front of my shirt and my mouth, I was really thinking that I really should have a mini bar in my car for times like these.  It almost seemed like we would get to the next party without a hitch when Fatai said to me , " Madame, this makes no sense." I looked at him and said " What makes no sense?" He said " The road, Madame." I was thinking, " We are in Lagos!!!! The roads don't make any sense here and you are just now telling me this!!!!???"  He explained to me that some of the roads have changed names and that McDonald Road used to be Oniru Road and some of the road signs aren't correct anymore. 

MTN was working, and I called a woman I have never talked to in my life who passed the phone to my friend in the middle of the happy birthday song to give my driver directions to her place.  We arrived at birthday party number 2 at approximately 5:02  Jeremy was greeted by all his friends in the common theme , " Jeremy, you're late!!!!"  I scanned the premises and there was still not a drop of wine to be found.  So, I did the next best thing....I found a quiet corner by the pool and stuffed my mouth with a cupcake until I could barely chew..and I think I almost tasted it before I swallowed it whole!!!

The kids had fun and swam until 6 and then we packed up and headed home.  On the way home, they were wired, and I was exhausted.  Was it worth it?  Maybe... after seeing the kids laughing with each other on the way home, and I really do like my two friends.  Would I recommend doing this to anyone else...ever?????  Not on your life!!!!!

It's Just different Here...

The past few days, I have been exhausted.  Living here is a "trip"...some days, it feels like I am bored to tears and other days I don't have a single second to think....

This week has been one of those weeks when I really realize it is just different here and no matter how hard I try to explain it to family and friends back home, it is so hard to understand.

For instance, we went out to the beach the other day for our last Board meeting of the year, and I was supposed to be back at the dock in V.I. by 2 p.m.  so I could pick Jeremy up from school and take him to a promised play date.  Of course, the boat was late getting back to the dock and didn't get there until 2:10 ...the exact time he gets out of school!!! (The last time he was left at school because he missed the bus, he was in the front office crying so hard he couldn't talk!)  All I could think was he would be standing there wondering where I was and I couldn't get a hold of anyone at the school.  The MTN service on my phone wasn't working and there are like about 50 different numbers to try to call the front office and almost none of them work!  I tried to call his teacher's cell phone when I finally had service...but there was no answer. To say I was in a  bit of a panic was an understatement.  I texted Fatai and told him to have the car running and ready and we needed to get to the school fast fast!!!!  To my amazement as I jumped off the boat and ran down the dock, he was ready and waiting!!!! ( a small miracle)  I told him we needed to go fast and he just smiled and said "Yes, Madame!"  and we just drove at a crawl.  I said we need to GO FAST!!!!!, and he said "Okay Madame!"  and picked up speed by half a kilometer an hour.  We got to Ozumba Mbadiwe and crossed the street to dead lock traffic trying to get into the school.  I said, "I can't wait..... meet me at the school." and I got out of the car and ran down the road.  There were okadas weaving in between me and the piles of gravel ( and I wondered what on earth are they going to do with that gravel??? Will they really fix this terrible dirt road??" but there was no time for that, I have to get to the school.) It was hot, and I haven't run in about a year...so I was about to die when I got through the front gate of the school, I searched everywhere for Jeremy and when I finally found him I expected to see a cry or some sort of scared look on his face, but he was fine and his teacher was waiting with him.  He just said, "Mom, where have you been, let's go!!!! I want to play!"  I felt like fainting right there in the courtyard at the school, but I didn't.....I just thought to myself....this place is so crazy!!!

Or yesterday, when I was in the car and Fatai asked me about my grinder which was in the trash. I said "Grinder?" He said , "Yes, madame, your grinder...it was in the trash...is there something wrong with it?" I said, " Oh you mean our blender?  Yes.....the motor is fried...it doesn't work." He said, " Oh." Then, yesterday afternoon I was taking a bag out of the back of the car and I saw our blender in the trunk.....he went and took it out of the trash.  I know I shouldn't feel upset about it...it was my trash...but there is something very strange about seeing something you know you put in the trash can showing back up again...in front of you.  It has happened a few times to me with a cleaning lady in our building...she has worn a pair of ratty old slippers I threw away because they were falling apart ....I wouldn't give them to anyone....

And, this morning, I ran out of milk in the kitchen fridge, so I went to the hall way and got another box of milk from that fridge.  It struck me...how many people in the U.S. have a fridge in the hallway???

It is just so hard to explain things to my family and friends back home.  Things are just so different here.  Phones don't work, thrown away things turn up, things are in weird places, there's lots of extra help, but sometimes " too many cooks in the kitchen" can make things even more complicated...

The only thing I can tell my friends or anyone who asks what it's like to live here is ...it's just different here.:)

Happy Mother's Day from Naija!

Mother's Day was looking good right from the start here in Naija.:)  I woke up to eggs and bacon cooked by some tiny hands and one great chef!:)  Then, I was "showered " with some precious gifts.:)

Mother's day book, homemade flowers and card:)

Beautiful flowers from my hubby:)

getting ready to go to church

I will treasure these flowers forever!:)

And who can beat some of the best sushi I have ever tasted along with some of our great friends from Lagos???!!  Yes, you can have fantastic sushi at Fusion in the Lagoon on V.I. (and no, I am not being paid to say that!) 

And one of the most magical moments of being a mom is watching your little one sleep.  There is something so peaceful and innocent about a child sleeping.  It is one of those times when time seems to stand still and you can just drink in the beauty of your child.  It is a time when all the whining and the complaining of everyday life drowns out, and it is just soft and peaceful.  Have you ever felt like at that moment you can really "see" your child???  I have those moments sometimes.:) ( Funny how they usually happen to me when they are asleep! ha ha!)

It was  a wonderful third Mother's Day in Lagos.:)  I can't imagine my life without my two precious little spirits. I am so happy that they came into my life!:)  Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms out there!  I hope you are able to really "see" your children  today:)