Thankful

My 36th Thanksgiving has come and gone and like many other people around the U.S., I have spent some time thinking about all the things I am thankful for.  These past few months of adjusting to life back in "the world" have been a little rough, a little fun, but most of all, I have really been able to look inside myself and I have learned a little bit more about myself.


I am thankful for Guy because without him, I would not have had all the experiences over the last 14 years of our life together.  I don't think anyone else on this earth could handle being my husband.:)  He knows all my different moods and feelings and he still loves me anyway.:)  And, I love him more than he'll ever know.:)

I am so very thankful for my children, Lizzy and Jeremy.  There was a time in my life I thought they would never exist.  I remember I would lay in bed at night and pray to God to send me a tiny spirit to be my child.  I had read in a book somewhere that the prayers of a mother are heard above all others and I thought, what the heck?  Maybe the prayers of a future mother could hold some water, too.  And in time, Jeremy drifted into our lives and we were forever changed from the moment I received the phone call he was born in Guatemala.  My prayers were answered.:)  Then, two years later, when I wasn't even looking, our second child drifted quietly, yet surprisingly into our lives and she completed our family.  Though there are many days of whining( from them and me), I always remember how blessed and fortunate I am to be their mother.:)


I am thankful for my parents. I am extremely close with them and they have shown me how important family is.   My Mom and Dad have really had a struggle over the last ten years with my mom's health, but she has pulled through her most recent surgery in October and she is really doing great, and I even got to sneak up to Illinois this weekend to see her.  I am so proud of my Mom for getting through this and I am so excited for both she and my Dad to fly out to California at Christmas to meet their third grand child for the very first time!:)


I am thankful for my brothers.  Being the oldest and the only girl in my family, I didn't realize growing up what great guys they are.  But, now, I look at them and can't believe they are all grown up. One a lieutenant in the U.S. Navy and the other one a brand new dad.:)  I love you guys!!:) I am so proud of you both!:)

I can't forget about all of my extended family up in Wisconsin and Michigan ( Kentucky, Arizona, Florida, and Arkansas, too).  Without all of you, I wouldn't have so many great memories of all the times at the beach, birthday parties, cookouts and pool parties.  Those memories are what I picture in my head when I think of my childhood, and I don't think I could ask for a better family.:)


There is a saying that friends are the family we choose for ourselves and that is so true.  I have a few very close friends who I am so thankful for.  I know I can talk to them just about anything and I know they have my back.   Those friendships are so precious to me.


I am thankful that I had the opportunity to be close to both of my grandmothers, and even though they have both passed away, I have the memories of both of them with me every day.  It hurts me sometimes that I can't call them up on the phone to talk to them, but my life is so much better because I knew them.  I learned so many life lessons from them from just watching them and listening to their stories.  They were two very strong women and I am so grateful they were in my life.

Moving back to the U.S. has been a bag of mixed emotions for me.  I am happy to be back and closer to friends and family, but I left someone behind there who was a huge part of my life while I lived there.  Sometimes, i think to myself, it would be so much easier if I had not met her, but then, my eyes would not have been opened to so much that I saw while living in Lagos.  I am forever changed because Happiness came into my life.  She had a way of looking at things and they weren't so complicated after all.  She calmed my fears many times while living there, and she became a part of our family.  It has been a hard last few months for the kids and for me without having her with us, but I am so thankful that she was part of our lives. She taught us to look at things differently and I was humbled many times by her view of the world.  She always saw the "glass half full", and she truly lived up to her name.:) 

I am so thankful for the opportunity our family had to go to Nigeria.  We were able to see things and have expereinces there we would never have had if we hadn't gone.  We now know what true poverty and destitution looks like and we know how fortunate we are to be citizens of the U.S.  We also learned so much about other cultures during our time there and we learned a new appreciation for people from all over the world and not just in Nigeria.  I am so thankful that my children were able to experience some of the beauty of people from different parts of the globe.

I truly have so much to be thankful for not only at this time of the year but every day throughout the year.  My life is so much better because of all the people who were, have been and  are still in it.:)

Pieces

I'm awake right now when I should be sleeping, but I was reading a blog post earlier about having domestic help in your home and feelings about that, and I couldn't help but think of Happiness.  When I moved to Nigeria, I never in a million years would have thought I would have made such a wonderful friend.  I never would have thought that I could make such a wonderful friend and when I had to leave one day, I would probably never get to see her again.  I couldn't help the tears from falling down my face as I read that post and then thought about it tonight.  I am happy to be back in the U.S. and to see all of my friends here. It's just that I feel like a left a piece of myself in Lagos with a dear friend.  I've taken the kids to a few places here and seen them laugh, and I know she would love to see it, too.  Part of why my kids have done as well as they have on our move to Nigeria is because of her...  ( and of course because of my hubby's meticulous planning!)

  

all smiles at Chuck E. Cheese

• brain freeze at Chick-Fil-A

 Moving is hard, and I know I will get through this change.  People have told me that moving back home after having an assignment as an expat is hard.  It's funny because I would look so forward to "civilization" when I would come back to the States on holidays.  But, now, I realize that I was just starting to really think of Lagos as home, and it was time to leave.  I kind of feel like the mancala (ayo)  game that Jeremy loves so much.  You take some pieces and you leave some pieces.  I guess that is kind of how life is, too.  You leave some pieces of yourself with dear people you have met, and you take some pieces of them with you, too.  And, I have to say, leaving a piece of myself in Lagos does hurt a bit, but I would do it all again because it brought a very special person into my life.:)

500

This is my 500th post on this blog...I never thought I would stay with it so long...who knew I would love it so much!!! I thought we could look at a few pictures from when we first arrived....

Arriving in Lagos July 2009

Meeting Happiness for the first time!! July 2009

first beach trip August 2009

first day of school August 2009

And, now a few from just a few weeks ago......they have changed so much since we moved to Lagos...

Jeremy and his Teacher

It's funny, I heard once that people cry when you move here and they cry when it's time to go.  I didn't really understand that when I first came here. I didn't think I would ever get used to living here.  It took a few years, but I have felt so much more comfortable here this last year.  And, now as I type this with tears in my eyes, it is time to leave and I don't feel like it's time to go yet.   I feel like there is an aching pit in my stomach which I haven't been able to make go away for the last few weeks.  I am having the same feelings I had when I moved here, but in reverse.  I never expected to ever be happy here.  I never thought I would meet people I would truly care about.  I am mostly an all or nothing person.  I won't do things half way...if I'm in it...I'm in it.  I threw myself into the Beach Foundation and the kids schools, and I loved every minute of it.  I made new friends and I knew I would have to leave one day, but I didn't realize how much I would hurt inside.  I am happy that I'm going back "home", but somehow, I feel different now.  I know I am not exactly the same person I was when I left to move here three years ago.  I hope I don't forget what I have done and what I have seen while living here. I hope I was able to make some small difference here.  These past few weeks, I've been busy packing up bags and saying farewells...

Good bye to the Beach School Foundation...

The kids have had farewells....

 And so have we....

 I've met so many great people here who are hard working and they will always have a piece of my heart...

Daniel, me, Happiness and Josephine

I don't even know how I will say good bye to Happiness. (Please pray for me...I mean it...I really don't know how I will do that.)  We can't even look at each other these past two weeks and not cry.  How do you even begin to tell someone she saved you from the fear you had about coming here????  She is truly a special person with a beautiful spirit, and because of her, I will always be forever connected to Nigeria.  I will miss so many people I have met here dearly, but I will have them in my heart forever.  If you know me, I don't like change much.  I never have, but once I accept it, things usually are okay.  The only thing I know which is constant is change....nothing stays the same forever. The kids and I leave tomorrow, June 8 and Guy will follow later this summer. I have heard that with every ending comes a new beginning, and I hope you will join me as I adjust to my life back in the states right here on this blog.  Thank you so much for joining me on this amazing journey!!!!:) And to my friends on the other side of the ocean...I am coming home!!!!!!!

I Wonder...

No pictures for this post.....just my own thoughts....a peek inside my brain..
 I know...it is a bit scary!:)


I wonder as I drive through the streets from my air conditioned car,
how that mother selling bread with a baby tied to her can walk so far.

How about the man with flip flops on his feet? How does he feel every time a car drives past
and he slowly retreats???

How does that okada driver feel when the police take his wheels?
It's his livelihood...his life line..his ticket for his meals...

How does the woman selling fish under the bridge feel on a morning when business is slow???
Will she have any money for that day?
Will she have anything to show??

And what about the man who shines shoes along the street...
How much does he make??
Does he ever feel that his lowly job is just too hard to take?

And those people on the bus, crammed in so tight...
Trying to get somewhere...
Maybe home from work while it's still light?

I know I am just an expat and there are things here I will never understand..
Many times, I still do feel as if I am in a foreign land.

I feel as if I will forever be a visitor looking from the outside in,
But even after a few years of living here...
The old feelings creep back in...

I know I cannot change everything I see,
but I always want to remember all the little things around me.

And, just when I start to feel a little bit low,
I see a beautiful Nigerian smile from someone that I know.

She is the reason I have adjusted so well here. 
She's taught us so much about her life and life in general here.

For many here, life is hard....it is a life of work.
But, family ties are strong here and those roots don't desert.

Families are bound here in a way I will never understand.
Brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers all give each other a helping hand.

Even when I am long gone away from here,
I'll remember all the beautiful people I saw and spoke with and listened to here.

Like a love affair, this country and I have had our ups and downs.
I've gone from elated and thrilled to trying to peel myself from the ground.

But, for good or bad or happy or sad,
For the opportunity to come here, I will always be glad.

In my life, Nigeria will always play an important part.
Memories from Nigeria will always be close to my heart.:)

Life's Little Gifts

There is a very famous quote from John Lennon which goes:

"Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans."

I almost feel like that quote was meant just for me although it was written for his son in his 1980 song "Beautiful Boy." But, when I sit and think about it, it is so simple, yet so very very true.  I LOVE to have things planned out and know exactly what will happen next.  I have never liked surprises, and you wouldn't have believed how detailed my lesson plans were when I was teaching!   But, guess what!!!! Life just isn't that way!!!  No wonder I have felt exhausted almost all of my life.  I have been fighting against something that I was NEVER EVER going to beat.  It only took me 35 years to finally start to figure it out!!  God has an amazing sense of humor by sending me to Nigeria to experience what life is like when none of your plans work out!:)  And you know what??? It is a little uncomfortable for me...kind of like learning how to ride a bike for the first time.  You are afraid you'll fall off , but you also know how much freedom you'll have once you have this thing down.  Slowly, I am learning to see the freedom I can have by letting go of the plans I think I need and starting to pay attention to what is right in front of my face....you just never know what little gifts you may find if you have the time (and aren't busy making other plans)...

Beautiful children in a faraway place...



 

experiencing their joy...

Or the simple gift of a coconut from a teacher who has no "real" money to give to show appreciation...

Or do do (pronounced doe doe) a.k.a. fried plantains made by Happiness simply because she knows I like them...I never told her to make them...

or a little nibbler...

I swear I did NOT tell him to do this....he put on the ears and grabbed the carrot all by himself!

And a surprise gift from a friend who has since moved away from Lagos.  Sent across continents (and arrived before the delivery of packages was cut off!!!  Thank you Angela and Gerry!)

I read what it said, but I had no idea the quote was Nigerian.  The gift of friendship is evident to me in so many ways every single day through emails, phone calls, messages, conversations,comments, a simple smile or a shoulder to cry on.  There are so many gifts in all of our lives each and every day that may go unnoticed while we are making other plans.   And, so, I guess I'll end this post the way it began ...with a quote.

Finding Happiness

I meant to write a few posts over the weekend, but things got too busy around here...there was a lot going on.  I was looking over some pictures from the past weekend, and it struck me as I was loading them to the computer that this weekend was one of those times I felt at home here and could feel real happiness.... 

OK, so Guy about to pass out from blowing up all the balloons for Lizzy's party doesn't really seem like happiness....I don't think he was feeling too happy at this point either!!!:)

 But, Saturday was a personal high light for Jeremy...he got the game ball at his tee ball game.  Let me just tell you how happy it makes me to see him smile.....I think he lights up from within with his happiness...

And, what four year old little girl doesn't find happiness in her birthday party????

the sweaty photographer....(I'll explain later)

 Adults settling in for a long afternoon of four year old partying....we all had a little bit of " happiness" in our cups!!!:)

and the REAL Happiness in the kitchen...she brings me A TON of happiness with her cooking!!!:)

the pinata actually worked!!!

tacos for the "fiesta" were a hit!:)

birthday girl not sure what to think when everyone was singing to her...

but, she was filled with happiness when she blew out her candle!

 On Sunday, we met a friend of Guy's at the Hotel Bon Voyage on V.I.  I am always impressed at how deceiving places can look here.  From the road, I really wasn't too sure what to think, but when we went inside, there was a beautiful courtyard and covered area and a bar....all the happiness I need!!:)

Elizabeth looking out over the lagoon at the shanty village seen from the hotel pool area

Nigerian fishermen chasing fish into their nets by splashing the water and tapping the boat

how can one not be happy looking at these two???? ( sorry if I'm biased)

It's funny that finally after living here for two and half years, I am just now getting to feel more comfortable here.  It takes a while, but I think it is true that you can really find happiness anywhere you go....you just have to know where to find it....

whether it's in a filthy dirty , purple compound or

right out on the streets of Victoria Island....

happiness can be found...you just have to look for it...
(pictures courtesy of the "sweaty marine turned photographer")