I knew I should have listened to that little voice in the back of my head telling me "NO way!!" "Are you nuts!???" " What the h#@% are you thinking?" but like I usually do when those voices seem to creep into the back of my head I ignore them. It's a quirk of mine to try to look into the face of insanity and just try to go with it. I think that may be one of the things Guy loves most about me....NOT!!!!
Two very nice friends were having birthday parties for their children on Ikoyi....on a Friday...the same Friday .. and both parties were from 3p.m. to 6 p.m. at different places. It was an insane thought but I had to let it pass through my brain, " What if you go to one party from 3 -4:30 and the other from 4:30 -6:00?" Could it be done??? Had it ever been done???? Could I do it?" Ha!!! I can laugh insanity in the face......does that make me more insane????
The plan was to leave my compound at 2:30 right when Jeremy got off the bus....2:30 turned into 2:45 after he played around and had an extended bathroom visit!:) And then 2:45 turned into 2:50 because I couldn't locate my keys (yes, Guy , I can hear you telling me to have a "special place" to leave my key!!) Anyway, the traffic wouldn't be that bad...I had a meeting on Thursday on Ikoyi and left at 5 p.m. and got there at 5:10 .....maybe the traffic was actually getting better??!! We went about 200 feet and were stuck in gridlock traffic for 45 minutes. Let me just tell you ....you haven't lived until you have two kids in the car ready for a birthday party and you are not moving anywhere....
We finally got to Ikoyi an hour after leaving and Fatai was lost...he couldn't remember where we were going (even though we had been there twice before!). He started to ask me about the names of the streets...I can't even pronounce them correctly let alone know where they are and don't even get me started on communication between Fatai and me! So, we arrived at birthday party number one at approximately 3: 57 p.m. I told the kids to go and play because we needed to leave in 33 minutes. I scanned the food and beverage table.....not one drop of wine anywhere to be seen to calm my nerves...so packing away of the plantain chips ensued in a wood chipper like fashion...it was full on stress eating, baby!!! I am sure there were crumbs flying out all over the place, but I needed to take my frustration out on something and the plantain chips seemed like a likely candidate. (And they did taste pretty good,too when I took a moment to reload my mouth!)
4:30 on the dot I corralled the kids into the car with Elizabeth crying because she didn't get to eat cake yet ( because it was too early) and Jeremy upset because he didn't get a goody bag from that party. I explained to Elizabeth she would get cake at the next party and Jeremy would get a goody bag from the next party because it was for his friend.
As we drove away from that party and I was wiping the crumbs from the front of my shirt and my mouth, I was really thinking that I really should have a mini bar in my car for times like these. It almost seemed like we would get to the next party without a hitch when Fatai said to me , " Madame, this makes no sense." I looked at him and said " What makes no sense?" He said " The road, Madame." I was thinking, " We are in Lagos!!!! The roads don't make any sense here and you are just now telling me this!!!!???" He explained to me that some of the roads have changed names and that McDonald Road used to be Oniru Road and some of the road signs aren't correct anymore.
MTN was working, and I called a woman I have never talked to in my life who passed the phone to my friend in the middle of the happy birthday song to give my driver directions to her place. We arrived at birthday party number 2 at approximately 5:02 Jeremy was greeted by all his friends in the common theme , " Jeremy, you're late!!!!" I scanned the premises and there was still not a drop of wine to be found. So, I did the next best thing....I found a quiet corner by the pool and stuffed my mouth with a cupcake until I could barely chew..and I think I almost tasted it before I swallowed it whole!!!
The kids had fun and swam until 6 and then we packed up and headed home. On the way home, they were wired, and I was exhausted. Was it worth it? Maybe... after seeing the kids laughing with each other on the way home, and I really do like my two friends. Would I recommend doing this to anyone else...ever????? Not on your life!!!!!
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