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Friday, October 15, 2010

A Nigerian Twist

Yesterday, Guy came home and showed me a very interesting article in the local paper here in Lagos called "This Day". He had heard about the article when he was at work and thought it was worth reading. I found it absolutely hysterical...especially since it was actually printed in a Nigerian newspaper. It was written in the wake of the rescue of the the 33 Chilean miners. The author is unknown, but after reading it to Happiness, she even said that this article really depicts what would happen if 33 Nigerian miners were trapped here in Nigeria. She was laughing while reading the article.:) So, here it is...

"If It Were in Nigeria"
"Last night I dreamt that 33 Nigerian miners were trapped underground and the government decided to send a capsule down to rescue them one after the other.

When the miners knew of the rescue plan, they began to argue amongst themselves on who goes first. Zoning was suggested, but they could not agree on which zone would go first. Eventually in a struggle to determine who goes first, several of them got injured and MEND (Men for the Emancipation of the Nigerian Delta) issued a threat message warning that they would set off a bomb if any South-south miner was critically injured.

Meanwhile, the FEC (Nigerian government) had awarded the capsule contract to JB (Julius Berger) and we are still awaiting delivery three months later. There is a probe going on to unravel this and retrieve the award sum before we get to the issue of what formula to adopt for the rescue and which miner comes out first.

In the mean time, traditional rulers from the miners' towns are paying solidarity visits to the president to thank him for his efforts to rescue the miners.

And the first lady had just invited the wives of the Nigerian miners to Abuja for dinner at the Hilton! The first ladies from 36 states will also be in attendance. All including the wives of the miners will wear the Goodluck for President ankara.

CNN reported early this morning that after 10 months underground, all 33 Nigerian miners have died and the Nigerian government has declared seven days of mourning during which the Nigerian flag will be flown at half mast to honour the dead.

Meanwhile, JB (Julius Berger) has sued the FGN (Nigerian Government) for the balance of the contract sum."

So, there you have it....this article sums up the crazy place I am living. I really wish I knew who the author was because he has taken everything about Nigeria and summed it up in to one article....greed, corruption, hostility, and humor. Let's just pray that something like what happened in Chile never happens here.:)

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