Nigeria Oil and Gas Industry Games - Part 2

If you did not read Part 1, please read Part 1 before proceeding.

We had a poor start to our first game as none of the team members wanted to stay at the top of the key when we were on offense.  Everyone wanted to drive to the rim and the other team had many fast break points as no one was hustling back on defense.  At half-time, we managed to claw back and trailed by one.  The second half was ours.  We knew what we needed to do on defense and our offensive game opened up.  Our point guard did a great job attracting defenders and passing to the open man.  Lucky for me, I was usually the open man.  I was making jump shoots, driving to the rim, and drawing fouls.  I think we won by 10 points.  I could not sleep that night… I was so jacked up!  This is our victorious team after game 1.

Our next game was on Wednesday.  Since only six companies sponsored basketball teams, a win on Wednesday meant we qualified for the medal rounds.  We started off slow again but were even at the half.  The refs were told to call more fouls as the games were becoming too physical?  To be honest, our refs did not know how to call the game.  Think of it like this… combining English Premier League mentality (soccer for my US friends) with basketball.  It took us out of our game and we could not stop fouling.  You looked at the shooter mean and they called a foul.  It was not that bad but is was bad.  The guys pulled it together in the second half and we won by 5 points.  Again, I could not sleep.  I played the games over and over in my head… and sang the “Be Like Mike” song in the Gatorade commercial.  You know the one from the early 90’s…

Thursday was the semi-final.   Winner plays for the gold on Friday and the loser plays for the bronze.  Our great point guard went on vacation to South Africa and we did not have anyone to fill the void.  On top of that, the basketball tournament coordinator pulled all players to midcourt and told us he instructed the refs to call the games even tighter as some players were complaining the game was too physical.  WTF!

I never played that type of game before.  In basketball, you can’t tackle an opponent to the ground, hit the shooter’s arm, or grab someone to stop them from moving.  But, there is contact and the coordinator did not want any contact.  If you tried to block a shot, the ref called a foul.  No contact but potential of contact?  I hated it.  It was ridiculous.  I was mad.  After a rebound, I sprinted up court with the basketball and was destined to take the ball from rim to rim.  At the start of my fast break, I was greeted with a pulled hamstring.  I called time out and took myself out of the game.  I needed some ice and wanted to get back in.  We needed to win to get to the gold medal game, and I was the point guard.  After 10 mins on the bench, I was back in.  On an offensive rebound I was greeted with a hard foul… even on my hard foul scale.  I came crashing to the ground on my elbow.  I did not want to take myself out again… We managed to cut our deficit down from 13 to 4 points and it was the fourth quarter.  When the clock showed 0:00, we lost by 6.

Friday was the bronze medal game.  I was hoping for rain so the courts would be unplayable.  My body was banged up with a pulled hamstring and bruised elbow.  In addition, I don’t like to play without contact.  The flow was terrible.  During the game, the emotions of not being able to play true basketball got the best of us.  I had to break up a Nigerian shouting match between one of my teammates and our coach.  We lost by 20+ points.

I liked playing with my team and like basketball.  But, I don’t like playing wussy basketball.  It was a new experience and I learned from it.  You can post your comment on what that learning was…

My Reading Room

Some people may be wondering (or maybe not) how I am able to get so much reading done over here. Well, let me introduce you to my very posh reading room.  It's private( sort of...I usually have a Nigerian man sitting right next to me) and has some interesting views from the windows....

Yes, while living in Lagos, my car has turned into my own personal reading room.  I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.  All this time stuck in traffic finally has something to show for it!:)

"Once in a Lifetime"

I have just finished a book my mom told me about over a year ago which has since become a movie.  My mind is spinning with parallels and ironies. For me,  it's one of those books which stays with me long after I have read the last page.  This is the first book which I actually cried OUT. LOUD. Not just a few tears and watery eyes...but a full out cry.  The Help by Kathryn Stockett really touched my heart in a way I never would have expected.  If I would have read this book before coming to Lagos, I would have thought, "Wow!  That was a funny book about different women and their hired help in the 60's. But, I'll never experience anything like that. And, by the way, how sad that some people treated their staff that way!""  There would have been no meaning in my own life or any parallels drawn.  I would have gone to see the movie and had a few laughs and maybe a few tears and that would have been it. Period. Done.

But, I didn't read it while I was living in the U.S.  I read it an ocean away from the life I had before moving here.  In the U.S., I never had a housekeeper come to my home everyday.  I never could have even imagined having someone in my house every. single.day.  But, I guess that is why the old saying says, "Never say never."  I do have domestic staff...a very smart, clever, industrious, special woman who came into our lives named Happiness.

It was crazy to me how reading about a group of women from the 1960's in Jackson, Mississippi living alongside their domestic staff or "help." could have so many comparisons even though I know it is fiction.  It was almost, (at least for me) like I was reading about expat wives here and their staff.  The book highlights some of the worst employers for domestic staff as well as some of the best.  And since living here, I can definitely tell you that there are some "madames" who are downright mean to their staff and treat them like they aren't even a person.  And, since the Nigerian staff here needs the money to put food on their table, he or she will put up with that treatment.  Or, how the employers will talk about their staff when they are standing right there and not even think they can hear what they are saying.  I was shocked to see some of this same behavior emulated in this book (because it reminded me of here a little bit. Those stories made me cry).

But, the stories in this book which really struck me were the ones of the employers and the help having a true friendship with each other which at that time was dangerous territory. (That is the part I was full blown boo-hooing!) There is a quote in the book which rang truth in my ears, "Good help is like true love, it only comes along once in a lifetime."  And until I read those words on that page, I had never thought about it that way...

People may think I'm crazy or that it's too "dangerous"( I have been told that, too) but I can't help how I feel about my stewardess.  People warned me when I first moved here, "Don't get too chatty with your staff." or " You don't want to know what is going on in their lives...they (the staff) always want something." ( And like everyone, there is good and "bad" staff).  But, Happiness is our family's "once in a lifetime". In my heart, she is a dear friend.  She is the reason I transitioned so well to Nigeria.  She has listened to my complaining, and we have even shared a few tears together.  She has taught us so much about Nigeria, and she has done all of that for us while cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, ironing and taking care of our kids.  My children have fallen" head over heels" in love with her....and there's no going back...

It's hard to imagine our lives without her in it at this point, and I guess that's why this book pulled at my heart so much. This book gave me the perspective of the domestic staff taking care of their employers and I could see my own life in a strange way on these pages. It drove home in me that you can never "judge a book by it's cover" (so to speak) and just assume you know how people are.  My "help" knows every aspect of my day practically.  She sees my home and my children and pictures of my family,and I don't know that much about hers....until I ask.:)  It's funny to me ( not in "ha ha" way) how I hear some people treating their staff so badly , but trusting them with their children??? Or, letting staff cook food for their employers but not even letting the staff keep their own food in the fridge to warm up at lunch time because the madame doesn't like the smell???!!!

I just had to write down what has been rolling around in my head these past few days since I finished this book. I think this book was so well written and gives perspective from both sides.  I am sure those of you who have never had domestic staff work for you probably think I'm crazy, and I lost you somewhere by the end of the first paragraph.  But, if you are an expat who has read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts about it.  And, if you have "help" working for you, I hope you find your "once in a lifetime".  It makes all the difference in the world when you are feeling alone, sad, and scared in a faraway place.:)

Nigeria Oil and Gas Industry Games - Part 1

If you know me, I love basketball.  I love March Madness (that is an American college basketball tournament for my non-American friends).  So when I got an opportunity to play in a basketball tournament in Nigeria, I jumped at the chance.

You may also know that Meredith is not writing this blog.  Her lovely, hard working, good providing, sweet husband is writing.  Ok, I went too far with sweet.  I’ve been called many things, but never sweet.

Growing up in Chicago, I dreamt of being Michael Jordan…. Game 7 of the NBA Finals, 4 seconds remaining in the game and down by one.  Quick inbound pass, two dribbles to the top of the key, doubled-teamed… and then shoot a fade away as time expires.  The crowd erupts when the ball finds “nothing but net”.

I started playing basketball in college as a study break and fell in love with the sport.  It was the first time I discovered that good team play always beats good individual play.  I’m not a great basketball player, but over the years, I learned how to screen for my teammates, move without the ball to create open space for a shot, out-hustle for a lose ball, drive to the rim to draw a double team and pass to the open man.  I usually don’t score many points… my shot is terrible.

I was not sure what to expect in the tournament.  All I knew is that I lived in Nigeria for almost three years and I was going to combine this….

with this…

Our team had a handful of practices before the tournament started.  We had about ten Nigerians and three expats at practice.  I practiced only twice because of a previously scheduled trip to Port Harcourt and rain.  We practiced on a tired court on Victoria Island.  The rim was bent forward, leaning to the left, and made of rebar.  Not many of the team members played basketball before but they shared the same love for the game as me.  So, three weeks later, we all piled into a bus and headed to Gbagaba on the mainland.

On Monday, we arrived about 3pm to warm up for the 4pm game.  I’m in Nigeria… and we are playing outside.  After warming up and sweating for 2 hrs, we started at 5pm.  The guys setting up the portable scoreboard and game clock did not know where to get electricity.  After discovering that an electrical extension cord was needed, someone mysteriously found one.  They even had a shot clock… but it did not work.  For some reason, they set it up everyday… don’t ask me why.  Here is a pic of us warming up.  See the shot clock in the grass, supported by a rock?  

You can’t see it, but the fence to my back has barbed wire… that’s my life.  I travel to and from barbed-wire compounds everyday.   Very odd at first, but now it blends into the background.  Our tournament results will be posted in Part 2.

Stay Tuned....

Stay tuned for a guest writer on the blog...coming soon!!:)

Six Years...

I was thinking about writing this post today when I got this message from a very dear friend of mine, Emmy.  I asked her if I could share it with you, and she said yes ( like she had a choice!!:))

"Five years ago today, your little boy let me hold him. Four years ago we were about ready to "pop".  Three years ago we were getting ready to celebrate the babies' first birthday knowing it was one of the last times we would do something big like that together for a while..."

I had to share this message from her because without wonderful friends in our lives, we would never have had the support for the moment that changed our lives six years ago today.  I didn't meet Emmy until a year after we brought Jeremy home, but friends like her have been a constant source of support before we brought Jeremy home and after he joined our family.  Emmy, thank you for remembering this special day.:)

Today, it has been six years since Guy and I experienced everything we had been waiting for for four years before.  All of the anticipation, worry, and preparation had finally come to an end.  We could see our "light" at the end of the tunnel, and no one could have imagined how much a small little baby born in Guatemala with black hair and rich dark brown eyes could light up our hearts and our lives...but we must have had smiles plastered on our faces for weeks when could finally hold him!!

It's funny how life can take you on twists and turns to places you never intended to go or even meant to be...but somehow when you arrive, you know that you have found your place. And six years ago, we found our place in Guatemala with our son...

March 2, 2006
Guatemala City, Guatemala

March 2, 2006
Guatemala City, Guatemala

Guy and I struggled for four painful years trying to get pregnant.  When I think back to those years, and how much of a failure I felt, it is still hard to put into words. I truly think unless you have been through infertility, you cannot fully understand the heartbreak of not being able to have a baby.  This is not to say that my friends weren't supportive and always there for me, but I was the only one of my friends struggling with this issue, and I just didn't know what to think or do.  I always knew I was going to be a mom in my heart, and I couldn't understand why it wasn't working. 

  I remember some "dark" times for me wondering why it seemed so easy for everyone else.  Why couldn't we have the baby we had always dreamed of??? After alot of prayers and talks with Guy, we decided to go to an adoption seminar many months before we even started our paperwork for Jeremy's adoption. The consultant from our adoption agency said it perfectly.  She said, " I realized the goal was to become a parent, not just to have a baby." After hearing her talk, I knew in my heart  this was one of those times in life when you understand why you have ended up in a place you never intended.   As soon as I heard her say that, I knew we were meant to adopt.  All the sad times and the heart break of seeing another negative pregnancy test seemed to make sense.  If we had been able to get pregnant, we never would have had Jeremy....

And, we COULD NEVER imagine our lives without him. ...And, I finally figured out, we were supposed to be parents, but there was just a different plan for us. And, we can't imagine our family any other way.:) He has brought so much joy and happiness to our entire family, and when I think back to the sadness I felt before we knew he was in the world, it makes me realize just how special each and every day is with him in our lives.  No matter where our lives take us, we will always be together, and he will always be our son.

March 2, 2012
Lagos, Nigeria

And, just as life has so many twists and turns, who could have known that he would begin his life in
Guatemala city, Guatemala and go to Houston, Texas, and then, come to Lagos, Nigeria???  But like every family, we will take every twist and turn together... 

Jeremy, we love you "around the earth" and "bigger than infinity!!!"We are so happy that your gentle, loving spirit came into our lives.:)
love, Mom and Dad:)

Diva???

*Warning*  When you bring your young daughter to Lagos, Nigeria, she may turn into someone else.  I mean that in the best possible way, though.  There are so many beautiful Nigerian women in Lagos, and they definitely have their fashion sense and accessorizing down!!!  I'm getting a little nervous, though.  Is it possible that an almost four year old could also emulate these qualities??  Could she actually be turning into a *gasp* "Nigerian Diva"????

 Here are the top five signs your daughter, may too, be turning into a Nigerian Diva:

1)  She says "Sorry-O" when she sees someone hurt themselves, but then, doesn't bat an eye as she walks on by.

2)  Someone else should carry her purse for her. ( This is when Happiness refers to her as the "president's wife"...Mrs. Goodluck Jonathan.)

3)  She MUST be accessorized with necklaces and not one but two watches (one for each wrist)

4)She has more handbags than she will ever be able to carry .

5)  She walks downstairs and stands in the driveway of our compound with her hands on her hips and yells "Where's MY driver???!!!!!" ( This is when Happiness laughs and says she is the "small madame")

I guess that's what happens when you have lived here since you were sixteen months old.:)  Happiness agrees with me...she definitely has the "diva" in her.:)  Guy and I both thinnk she will always have a little piece of Nigeria in her.:)