Jumbled...

I haven't been here for a while....there are lots of reasons I guess.  It is not that I haven't had anything to say...actually, there have been so many thoughts in my head these last months and I haven't had the time to sit down and start to write to be able to sort all of them out...

There have been many things happening in these last weeks...some dear friends of ours lost their daughter after she battled cancer with the bravery of a Roman warrior.  Our hearts have been breaking for them...

My time has been taken up with 2-3 daily phone calls to my mom who is back in the hospital again because she has been battling a staph infection in her leg these past 6 weeks.  Saying that I have been worried out of my mind over her would be an understatement...

The kids have started in their schools.  Jeremy is in first grade....I still can't believe it....and we have homework.every. single.night. on top of his soccer practices and games.  Elizabeth is in two days a week, and loves it, and she has ballet two times a week.

I feel like since I moved back I have become the taxi service I always heard my mom say she was when I was younger.:)

It's strange because the whole time we were gone to Nigeria, I was worried about the kids adjusting and the kids having friends and how they were feeling.  Everything else just kind of fell into place...I thought, "Three years isn't that long...we'll come back and be able to pick up where we left off..."  And, it is true, the kids have adjusted really well and love their school and friends and Guy is doing great with his new job.  I just didn't realize how different I would feel when I moved back here...

I miss Happiness...not just because she did about 99.9% of my housework:)....but I miss her friendship and how when I talked to her each day she opened up a window to a world I didn't know about...

I feel torn between the life I lived in Lagos and the life I am living here.  I saw a picture of the board from IBSF the other day and tears came to my eyes because I miss that....I miss them and I miss feeling like I was a part of something bigger than myself.  I miss seeing the children and I miss feeling like I was really and truly helping others and until I moved to Nigeria I had no idea what it was to really help people who had nothing....until I physically saw them along the sides of the road...

I like being back here because the freedom to hop in my car and drive myself wherever I want to go is really nice....sometimes the compound life was a little confining. I love being able to take my kids to school and pick them up and help with homework and watch them grow and change each day. But, I would be lying if I said I have been really outgoing trying to meet new people because I haven't.  My good friends are sticking with me through this time...but I almost feel like I can't identify with anyone new.  The other day I was at the grocery store and asked about bean sprouts and the man looked at me like I was crazy, and he told me that bean sprouts were off the market because of an outbreak of salmonella about 6 months ago...I didn't know...

I tried to take the kids to the children's museum a few weeks ago at the mall near our house.  I wandered the mall and looked at the directory and asked a few people until I figured out that the museum had moved to another location two years ago...I felt like an idiot...I thought "Three years really IS a long time."

I am back in my home country, but I feel a little out of sorts...kind of like I am in a limbo between two worlds...

I am not sure what will happen with this blog...I don't know if I will continue it, start a new one or just stop.  It's hard to just let it go because this blog has kind of become like an old friend to me. But, until I figure it out....I'll just keep on posting about my "re-entry" even though it may be a bit jumbled...