Thankful

My 36th Thanksgiving has come and gone and like many other people around the U.S., I have spent some time thinking about all the things I am thankful for.  These past few months of adjusting to life back in "the world" have been a little rough, a little fun, but most of all, I have really been able to look inside myself and I have learned a little bit more about myself.


I am thankful for Guy because without him, I would not have had all the experiences over the last 14 years of our life together.  I don't think anyone else on this earth could handle being my husband.:)  He knows all my different moods and feelings and he still loves me anyway.:)  And, I love him more than he'll ever know.:)

I am so very thankful for my children, Lizzy and Jeremy.  There was a time in my life I thought they would never exist.  I remember I would lay in bed at night and pray to God to send me a tiny spirit to be my child.  I had read in a book somewhere that the prayers of a mother are heard above all others and I thought, what the heck?  Maybe the prayers of a future mother could hold some water, too.  And in time, Jeremy drifted into our lives and we were forever changed from the moment I received the phone call he was born in Guatemala.  My prayers were answered.:)  Then, two years later, when I wasn't even looking, our second child drifted quietly, yet surprisingly into our lives and she completed our family.  Though there are many days of whining( from them and me), I always remember how blessed and fortunate I am to be their mother.:)


I am thankful for my parents. I am extremely close with them and they have shown me how important family is.   My Mom and Dad have really had a struggle over the last ten years with my mom's health, but she has pulled through her most recent surgery in October and she is really doing great, and I even got to sneak up to Illinois this weekend to see her.  I am so proud of my Mom for getting through this and I am so excited for both she and my Dad to fly out to California at Christmas to meet their third grand child for the very first time!:)


I am thankful for my brothers.  Being the oldest and the only girl in my family, I didn't realize growing up what great guys they are.  But, now, I look at them and can't believe they are all grown up. One a lieutenant in the U.S. Navy and the other one a brand new dad.:)  I love you guys!!:) I am so proud of you both!:)

I can't forget about all of my extended family up in Wisconsin and Michigan ( Kentucky, Arizona, Florida, and Arkansas, too).  Without all of you, I wouldn't have so many great memories of all the times at the beach, birthday parties, cookouts and pool parties.  Those memories are what I picture in my head when I think of my childhood, and I don't think I could ask for a better family.:)


There is a saying that friends are the family we choose for ourselves and that is so true.  I have a few very close friends who I am so thankful for.  I know I can talk to them just about anything and I know they have my back.   Those friendships are so precious to me.


I am thankful that I had the opportunity to be close to both of my grandmothers, and even though they have both passed away, I have the memories of both of them with me every day.  It hurts me sometimes that I can't call them up on the phone to talk to them, but my life is so much better because I knew them.  I learned so many life lessons from them from just watching them and listening to their stories.  They were two very strong women and I am so grateful they were in my life.

Moving back to the U.S. has been a bag of mixed emotions for me.  I am happy to be back and closer to friends and family, but I left someone behind there who was a huge part of my life while I lived there.  Sometimes, i think to myself, it would be so much easier if I had not met her, but then, my eyes would not have been opened to so much that I saw while living in Lagos.  I am forever changed because Happiness came into my life.  She had a way of looking at things and they weren't so complicated after all.  She calmed my fears many times while living there, and she became a part of our family.  It has been a hard last few months for the kids and for me without having her with us, but I am so thankful that she was part of our lives. She taught us to look at things differently and I was humbled many times by her view of the world.  She always saw the "glass half full", and she truly lived up to her name.:) 

I am so thankful for the opportunity our family had to go to Nigeria.  We were able to see things and have expereinces there we would never have had if we hadn't gone.  We now know what true poverty and destitution looks like and we know how fortunate we are to be citizens of the U.S.  We also learned so much about other cultures during our time there and we learned a new appreciation for people from all over the world and not just in Nigeria.  I am so thankful that my children were able to experience some of the beauty of people from different parts of the globe.

I truly have so much to be thankful for not only at this time of the year but every day throughout the year.  My life is so much better because of all the people who were, have been and  are still in it.:)

"Normal"

exhaustion!!!!

These past two and half weeks have been filled with happiness at seeing old friends again, nervousness about finding a house, anxiousness about putting an offer on just the right house, elation when that offer was accepted, happiness at Guy being able to join us for almost two weeks, sadness that he had to leave and go back to Nigeria to finish up his job there, worry about safety over there, and exhaustion from everything in between.

We've survived 2 trips to Chuck E.Cheese, at least 5 trips to Sonic, 7 trips to Chick-Fil-A, and umpteen trips to Mickey D's and somewhere in there the kids have even managed to eat some fruit and veggies.:)  They have been troopers through their fourth straight summer of living out of a suitcase.  I don't know how we'll feel next summer when we will actually have a house.  I was starting to feel like I was at home in Lagos, but I never really felt like the flat was "mine".  It was assigned to us, and I always felt like I was living in someone else's house using someone else's furniture.  I am looking forward to living in a home we chose with things that belong to us.:)  Although that home won't be ready for us until August...

This next year will be a struggle for me to find my "new normal" whatever that may be.  But, for right now, my" normal" is packing up our bags for yet another plane ride....this time to see some family in Michigan.  And for the time being, our "home" is wherever our suitcases are.:)

500

This is my 500th post on this blog...I never thought I would stay with it so long...who knew I would love it so much!!! I thought we could look at a few pictures from when we first arrived....

Arriving in Lagos July 2009

Meeting Happiness for the first time!! July 2009

first beach trip August 2009

first day of school August 2009

And, now a few from just a few weeks ago......they have changed so much since we moved to Lagos...

Jeremy and his Teacher

It's funny, I heard once that people cry when you move here and they cry when it's time to go.  I didn't really understand that when I first came here. I didn't think I would ever get used to living here.  It took a few years, but I have felt so much more comfortable here this last year.  And, now as I type this with tears in my eyes, it is time to leave and I don't feel like it's time to go yet.   I feel like there is an aching pit in my stomach which I haven't been able to make go away for the last few weeks.  I am having the same feelings I had when I moved here, but in reverse.  I never expected to ever be happy here.  I never thought I would meet people I would truly care about.  I am mostly an all or nothing person.  I won't do things half way...if I'm in it...I'm in it.  I threw myself into the Beach Foundation and the kids schools, and I loved every minute of it.  I made new friends and I knew I would have to leave one day, but I didn't realize how much I would hurt inside.  I am happy that I'm going back "home", but somehow, I feel different now.  I know I am not exactly the same person I was when I left to move here three years ago.  I hope I don't forget what I have done and what I have seen while living here. I hope I was able to make some small difference here.  These past few weeks, I've been busy packing up bags and saying farewells...

Good bye to the Beach School Foundation...

The kids have had farewells....

 And so have we....

 I've met so many great people here who are hard working and they will always have a piece of my heart...

Daniel, me, Happiness and Josephine

I don't even know how I will say good bye to Happiness. (Please pray for me...I mean it...I really don't know how I will do that.)  We can't even look at each other these past two weeks and not cry.  How do you even begin to tell someone she saved you from the fear you had about coming here????  She is truly a special person with a beautiful spirit, and because of her, I will always be forever connected to Nigeria.  I will miss so many people I have met here dearly, but I will have them in my heart forever.  If you know me, I don't like change much.  I never have, but once I accept it, things usually are okay.  The only thing I know which is constant is change....nothing stays the same forever. The kids and I leave tomorrow, June 8 and Guy will follow later this summer. I have heard that with every ending comes a new beginning, and I hope you will join me as I adjust to my life back in the states right here on this blog.  Thank you so much for joining me on this amazing journey!!!!:) And to my friends on the other side of the ocean...I am coming home!!!!!!!

In an Instant

Yesterday morning 15 people woke up and got dressed and went to church in Bauchi State, Nigeria.  It was something they probably did every Sunday.  And, while they were walking out of church talking with friends and visiting with loved ones, a car bomb exploded right outside the church and those 15 people lost their lives in that instant...

Yesterday afternoon while the kids and I were enjoying a great afternoon of fun with some friends from our compound, a Dana Air flight took off from Abuja headed to Lagos.  While my kids were laughing and having fun with their friends, over 150 people lost their lives in a plane crash right near the Lagos International Airport (which is on the mainland.  We live on Victoria Island a good distance away.).  Guy is in Port Harcourt and was watching CNN, and immediately tried to call me.  All the CNN report said was that the plane crashed into a building in a heavily populated area in Lagos.  Guy had no way of knowing what building it could be.  I never even heard the phone ring with his frantic phone calls while I was was laughing and having a good time with my friends.  Poor Guy, when I finally checked my phone I saw that I had missed three calls from him.  Needless to say, he was relieved to know we were safe.

The only thing which could make that crash even worse is that the plane crashed into a heavily populated residential area of Lagos where houses/shanties are built so close together it resembles a can of sardines.  There is no way to know how many people on the ground lost their lives or are injured.  What is known is that all people on the plane lost their lives, but it will probably be a while before there is any report of how many people lost their lives in their homes...

In a country where there is poverty and sadness all around most days, Nigeria did not deserve these acts.  But, things like these could happen anywhere at anytime.  We all need to remember that each day is a gift and there is never a guarantee of tomorrow for any of us.  The one thing we can do is love our loved ones right now at this moment.  All of our lives could change in an instant...

You Never Really Know

 This weekend was full of getting together with friends we met from different continents but somehow all of our paths crossed in Lagos!!! 

The rainy season took a short break on Sunday so we could have a cook out with some friends at another compound.:)

 The kids had a great time splashing around with their friends...

 and the adults got to have a little relaxing time together and look at the blue water of the Atlantic Ocean...

Shanties along the beach front

shanty town

 It was a great weekend with laughter and friends....we almost forgot where we were for a few minutes until Jeremy came up to us at the other compound and said, "Mommy, look what I found!  What is this??"

I have to admit, I have never seen one of these up close, but I was pretty sure I knew what it was and upon conformation from Guy and a few of our other friends....it was concluded that yes, indeed, my six year old son found a bullet on the ground on a compound where we were having a beautiful afternoon.  Looking at this takes me back to 2:45 a.m.  You just never really know what you'll get to experience when you come to Lagos!:)

My Wake Up Call

This past weekend was wonderful!  It was full of children laughing, birthday parties, big hats and bigger smiles.  When I woke up this morning, I was feeling pretty good (other than the fact I have bus duty for the week).  Sometimes, I even forget I live in Lagos.  It's true. I start to feel pretty comfortable here.  My kids are happy at school.  I know where to find things here, and I don't panic when I can't (like I did when I first got here).  But, I was zapped back into reality when I saw two words...Boko Haram....on my Blackberry this morning.  A friend of mine who also lives in Lagos sent a forwarded message to me about a possibility of an attack near Lagos.  If this happened to me three years ago, I would have looked at the message and simply hit delete (not that I even had a Blackberry then!) and possibly thought that Boko Haram was something new on the menu at one of the local restaurants. (Yes, I can hear my Dad screaming across the ocean.  My poor dad always wants me to keep up with the latest news, and I sure wasn't that great about it three years ago.  I think it had to do with a one year old and an almost three year old I was potty training!)  After reading the message, my first thought was " I get about 50 forwards from various people a week, and I always blow them off."  I went to make my coffee, but I couldn't shake that certain something that was in the back of my mind.  I tried to forget about the message and go on with the morning.  I made Jeremy his lunch and made sure he got dressed and brushed his teeth.  Then, as I gave him a kiss good bye and told him I'd be on the bus and he'd see me there, it hit me!  I looked at his big brown eyes and realized that feeling I couldn't shake this morning was FEAR. I couldn't ever forgive myself if something ever happened to my husband or my children while we are here.  I am sure the forwarded message was not entirely accurate, but if it was being circulated at all and making just one other person besides me fearful...then it was working. And instilling fear, no mater how small, is the definition of a terrorist, is it not???

Sometimes, I get caught up with my everyday life here.  I start to forget about some of the true dangers of living in Nigeria. I even made Guy do some investigating at work to find out if there was a heightened security alert.  Thank goodness there wasn't!  Nevertheless, Boko Haram is real and whether or not the attack will occur or it won't, the fact of the matter is that group is in Nigeria, and we all have to be vigilant of our surroundings.  I am grateful for the message I got this morning.....it was a good "wake up call" for me to enjoy living here, but at the same time, I always need to remember I am living here.  I need to be conscious of my surroundings not only for Guy and myself, but for our children as well.

Weekend:)

Our Friday night was a far cry from the late nights of dancing and partying of our "younger" years, but we loved every single minute of dollhouse playing and Lego building.:)

Saturday afternoon led us to a dear friend's princess birthday party over at the GQ on Ikoyi.  There really is not anything like an African thunderstorm blowing in.  The only things that comes even close is a Texas hurricane.  But, this storm blew in fast and fierce!  The temperature must have dropped 15 degrees in a matter of minutes!

Luckily, the kids spirits weren't too "rained out"  ( and the power didn't go out!)  There wasn't anything some cartoon network and piza couldn't handle inside the restaurant.:)  But, the storm raged on outside!!

And Today, we headed off to the Oriental Hotel here on V.I. for the Mother's Day "Big Hat" brunch (even though it was a week early). All proceeds go to breast cancer research right here in Nigeria so it is for a great cause!!! Thank you, Happiness for finding hats for Lizzy and me.:) (She trekked through Balogun market for us!).

We were joined by some of our very dear friends here.:)

 The whole banquet hall was decorated in pink and even the napkins were in the shape of the breast  cancer awareness ribbon.:)

There was some great dancing from the Society of Performing Arts Nigeria..

I even won a voucher for a brunch at a local restaurant!  I never win anything!!!!:)

Guy went up to the roof tonight to see the "Super" moon.  He got a few pictrures.  I am just impressed that we can see the moon.  The sky was incredibly clear today!!:)

 It was a really good weekend here in Lagos.  Great kids, great family (near and far), great friends (near and far!) ...what more could I ask for?:)

Under the African Sun

Today was Worker's Day in Nigeria, and as such it was a NAtional holiday.   It is equivalent to Labor Day in the U.S.  We took advantage of this gorgeous day off and went out to the
 beach...

Happiness came with us this time:)

getting ready to leave:)

 I am always amazed at the ride out to the beach...we passed the huge shipyard in Apapa and then it's like you enter a land so quiet and so far back from all the noise and wahala of Lagos that you almost can't believe it. Watching hte sand dredgers and the fishermen continue to do what their ancestors before them have done for hundreds of years is truly awesome.:)  I am almost as amazed as the first time we ever went out to the beach almost three years ago..

Today, Happiness made sure to point out to me the Cassava plant.  This plant is a staple in many Nigerian's diets.  It is harvested by cutting the root and roasting it over fire to dry it out.  Then, the stems (depending on how big the plant is) can be planted again in the soil and will grow a  new plant.  The dried cassava is known as gari.  Gari can be boiled and made into a type of paste (for lack of a better word) and it is eaten with soup.  I am amazed it can grow in this very sandy soil.

large cassava plant



Walking through the village, we saw the mother hen and her chicks...the eggs don't get any fresher than this!!!:)

The rest of the afternoon, we had a great time with our friends!!

The kids love the water, but the water here at this beach is so rough. it's surprising to me how strong the waves are when they come up around our ankles.  They can actually sweep you off your feet in ankle deep water.

 Something else I have learned since moving to Lagos is that the African sun is UNFORGIVING.  Sun block on our skin is a must and I am not too shy to wear a wide brimmed hat.  I didn't realize until moving here that you can actually stay in the sun for just 10 minutes and get a major burn if you aren't careful....



The children from the village came out to play with the kids, and Elizabeth loved acting like the teacher telling them all what to do. I didn';t even realize until I downloaded the pictures from today that I got this pic of her just before she tripped and fell.  She was fine, but she learned not to run so fast!:)

There was even a great breeze to fly kites!!!:)

quick family shot

And, then before we knew it, five hours had passed and it was time to pack up again and head back.  The kids said goodbye to their friends from the village and we boarded the boat.:)

We passed by sand dredgers

and small villages building new boats...

and small fishing communities

And, you know it's been a good day when your baby girl passes out on the window seat at 6 p.m.:)  It was such a great day out at the beach.  I know sometimes I don't always write about the beautiful things there are to see in Lagos, but I have to say that the beach for our family is definitely one of the highlights of living here.